The Beast

Argh! I have become one of ‘them’!

You know who I am talking about. The ones who make a change in their lives and then decide everyone is worse off for not following their leads. The newly non smokers, the sudden gym goers and the new dieters. Yep, I am the new dieter.

I am constantly looking at peoples shopping trolleys, their lunch choices, what they’re having for breakfast and I shake my head until my chins all do a jiggle dance.

My desk buddy who we will call ‘C’ eats absolutely terribly but what annoys me the most, she doesn’t put on any weight. I watch her eat her ham and cheese toasted croissants for breakfast (a little bit of drool escapes my mouth every time she eats this), she will then follow with her morning tea of a little chocolate treat of some sort (she does try to hide this from me), lunch can range from a nice healthy salad or vegetables to a home made chicken schnitzel roll made by her boyfriend or a nice pasta dish left over from last night. Through out the rest of the day will be coke and maybe another chocolate or lolly. The whole time I am counting my calories and eating tuna out of the tin but watching her the whole time imagining it is me eating this wonderful food.

And then, I become the ‘beast’ and lecture her on what she is eating and the calories and so forth. Thankfully she nods her head as though she is taking it all in and humours me and it isn’t until I stop flapping my gums that I realise what has happened to me! And what’s worse is I am still fat AND lecturing people on what they should and shouldn’t eat.

I honestly can’t help it though. I wonder if I do it through pure jealousy or because I honestly believe there shouldn’t be that much sugar, oil, salt and fat in ones diet. Who the hell am I kidding? It is only jealousy. I want to eat that food and I want to drink that stuff.

Now that I have to monitor all of my food intake and my food out-take (that means poo’s) I find myself monitoring everyones intake and out-take. I even explained to my desk buddy one day that she was late in doing her poops for the day because she normally goes at 3pm. Yes, I even know when she poops.

I need a new hobby I think.