Overactive imagination

I fear I am losing my mind. My current state of fatness v’s dieting is warping my head. Before I start my rant, I’ll get you up to speed as to where I am at since the last blog.

I AM STILL FAT.

Right, now we have that out of the way let me tell you what happened this morning.

I was walking along at a ‘brisk pace’ to work in the early hours of this morning (7am) when I stopped at the footpath because there was a man in a van (oohh rhymed!) coming along. So I stood there waiting for him to get to the intersection and make his way along the road when I realised he had stopped.

He was waving me through so I could walk while he waited for me instead of the other way round. Oh wow did I blush. It has been so very long since a young man had stopped to let me walk, and there wasn’t even any traffic on the road at that time of the morning and he gave me a little smile and off he went.

Well, three more steps later I realised, he is one of those weirdos that love fat chicks! You know the ones? They pay money to watch fat people eat on the internet. I have seen it on the TV before. Or he could be one that pays fatties who watch fat chicks do their housework in lingerie. I also saw that on TV but it was on Desperate Housewives and the chick wasn’t fat. She was skinny and gorgeous but you get where I am going don’t you?

I was getting really worried that he was now going to come back and get me. He was in a van so that means there is enough room in there for me to be hidden. I almost gave myself whip lash trying to see what direction he went in. I couldn’t find him so I made my pace even brisker and got to work at record speed.

As I was huffing and puffing my way up the elevator, I realised, this poor guy went from being a polite young man to a serial sicko going after fat chicks with no fault of his own! I am hoping he didn’t have my thoughts radioed into his head otherwise he’ll never let another person walk ahead of him again.

Obviously it has been a little while since I have had a chocolate bar. My mind does tend to wander once in a while into strange places.