Friday 23 September 2011

Show Us Ya Boobs! (i cant) *sob*

Where are my boozies? Seriously! They have disappeared overnight. I am pretty sure I had a reasonably sized set yesterday but today…. No where to be found and yes, I did check to see if they were moonlighting as my kneecaps.

The only bonus I could find for being a fatty was having a decent set of boobies. As a skinny, I had none but as a fatty, oh Mama, I had some beauties. Ok, I wasn’t Miss Anderson or an Angelina Jolie but I was doin ok for a ‘larger sized woman’. Now, they have gone. Kaput. Moved out. Not sure what I shall flaunt now.

My understanding of all this walking to and from work each day is that these boozies of mine have been dancing to a different tune to the rest of my body and it is THEY that have lost weight. Why couldn’t my bum cheeks have been swinging away losing weight? Or a neck roll or two?  Why my boozies? I want them back. Now I just look like a butter ball without my cleavage.

It isn’t as though I was flashing them all over the place but they continued to make me feel womanly and curvy. Now I am just round. Blugh. I don’t like round. If someone bumps into me on my lunch break today I am afraid that I will roll away instead of trip. There is nothing to stop me rolling now. I don’t have a big nose or anything else protruding out of me, just one big bloody round ball.

I am going for a massage on my neck and shoulders today at the Mr Chinaman so perhaps when he massages my shoulder blades, he’ll push my boozies back out and I’ll be voluptuous again instead of round. How do I ask for this in an Asian accent. (he doesn’t speak very good English). Oh he is a professional, I’m sure he’ll realise what happened to my boozies once he starts massaging my back.

The way I see it, this walking thing isn’t doing much at all for me right now except taking away my girls and giving me a sore neck and shoulders.

That is all (for now)

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