I've lost the Duck Waddle!

Lets start with my weight loss – 4.9 Kilos in 7 days thank you

There are HUGE changes going on that I just had to share but first, I’ll have a whinge.

You know how fatties lost weight and you can’t tell for aaaaaages because they are so fat? Well I must be one of those because I have lost 4.9 kilos (almost 5 kilos yippeee) but no one has noticed L and to be honest, I can’t tell where I have lost all of this weight so it must be on the inside bits.

I have noticed some weird things happening though. One of the biggest things was this morning when I was tying  up my shoe laces. I thought it felt weird and then I realised I wasn’t being suffocated by my boobs which are normally pushed up by my stomach! I could actually reach and tie my shoelaces up and maintain my breathing!! Normally it would be a bit of a darth vadar moment struggling for breath whilst trying to see over my mounds of flesh just to find my shoe laces. I would then have to come up for air and then go back down there to tie them. Now I just tie them up!

And, when walking to work this morning I noticed I didn’t need the majority of the foot path because my arms weren’t sticking out like they normally do, they were by my side. I’ll give you a better description so you understand what I am rambling about. Usually I have a bit of a duck waddle going on right? And just like a body builder (or wanna be bodybuilder) my arms don’t touch my sides not due to muscle but due to fat! But that has ceased. Cool huh?

Now, please do not read the next bit if you are eating or don’t like to talk about poo but OMG my poops stink! Seriously, I am eating nothing but raw veg and steamed veg and fish. There are no sauces, dairy, gluten, oils NOTHING I tell you. And once I have been to the loo, it smells like a barn. Soooo grose and am very much hoping that changes and that my poops go back to smelling like pretty flowers.

My worry about myself is, I am such a square now L. I don’t drink, don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, don’t eat naughty food……. What do I do? Nothing that’s what. I am wondering what naughty stuff I can do. And I come up with nothing. Maybe I could say a swear word in front of my mum (really quietly but say it all the same).

I’ll be back later. I need to think of something naughty to do…….