The Dietician

I've done it. Not only did I make an appointment to see a dietician, I actually went but was disappointed when i walked out of my appointment because I was still FAT!

I have decided the dietician sees me as a threat. She doesn't want me to be skinny because she is frightened. She hasn't made me feel anything other than hungry!

Waddling into her neat little office following her non existent arse, I heaved myself down into a chair suited for a child, and then, she has the stupidest question to ask me. "What has bought you to my office today?" WTF? Is she not seeing me? Am I one of those skinny chicks that sees a fat chick in the mirror? Did I wake up skinny today? I tell her 'Well, I am here because I am fat'. She nods with a thinking face on as though I have told her something she would never have guessed. By now I want to punch her in her cute little button nose but I will persist with talking to her for a while. I have not much else to do so I may as well stay and see what other idiotic questions she has for me.

She asks me to guess my weight. There is a set of scales right in the middle of the room. Not to the side descretely tucked away. Oh no, that would be too obvious if they were against the wall. In The Middle Of The Room. So, why do I have to guess when I can just step on them? Does she think I will smash her precious scales? Does she feel that I am too embarrased to step on them? I am at the bloody dietician, embarrasement has gone lady, lets get on with it already. So, in my know it all voice, I tell her. She looks at me and in her cute little girlie voice she asks if I would like to step on her scales. Why didn't she ask me that to begin with. You know what lady? Put the scales at the door I walked in and that way you can see how huge I am before I sit down and we will elimitate stupid question Number 1 and also the guessing game wouldn't be required either. I felt like I should have won a prize though because I was bang on the mark with my guess. Not sure if I was trying to impress her but I felt pretty smug for guessing right.

Anyway, down to what I learnt from her.

1.

2.

3. I know what I am doing.

She kept telling me I was on the right track and to come and see her in four weeks. Perhaps, deep down inside, she knows I am going to wake up skinny too. YAY