Lady Leaks

So, two full days of riding my new motorbike with boyfriend and am I one happy chick!! It was sensational. I shant go into a full explanation as to how my back bum and front bum feel after such long rides but I am sure you can work it out.

Anyhoo, we are riding along and I would like to say that I was laughing like a school girl with the wind in my hair and all the boys checking me out but it was a wee bit different. I was hunched over the bike holding onto the handle bars with all my strength and the only hair blowing in the wind was my leg hair where my jeans had ridden up! I must remember to shave these legs soon before the leg hair gets caught in the bike wheels.

We stopped for petrol and I was a bit disappointed it wasn’t packed full of people because now I was feeling quite confident and wanted to throw my head back with my long golden locks going over my shoulder, cascading down my back. That didn’t happen either because my hair was tied back and when I took the helmet off, bits of hair went in all directions whilst other bits of hair were stuck to my head like glue. Not a very attractive look so it is probably a good thing there wasn’t too many people there.

Getting to the point, once I got off the bike and started putting petrol into my bike, I realised I felt quite damp ‘down there’! OMG, am I now of the age? Am I one of those women now? I have seen the adverts where women are about to sneeze or do yoga or pick something up but they feel more confident with a ‘lady leak’ pad in! oh no! I have a nice young man for my boyfriend, am a motorbike chick and in a great place (if not a bit too rolly polly), and now I have to deal with this??

I was wearing denim jeans and had this vision of a big wet pack on my back bum and I didn’t know what to do. Thankfully boyfriend went and paid for the petrol so I was able to jump back onto my bike quick smart before anyone noticed. I was almost crying and wondering if I should have gone into the shop and bought some of these pads. Are they even sold in a general store or do I have to go to a chemist? What if I can’t find them on the shelf? I will have to ask an attendant and I bet the attendant I get will be a skinny, blonde, young girl who will have no idea what I am talking about and I will have to explain what the ‘Lady Leak’ is and she’ll look at me in disgust and promise herself that will never ever happen to her and I’ll give her the look that it WILL happen to her.

Once we got home I raced to the toilet to inspect my ‘Lady Leak’ area (which is really hard to do with a stomach like mine!) and lo and behold, it wasn’t a ‘Lady Leak’, it was sweat! Did you know you can sweat ‘down there?”  Yes, yes you can! Does it ever end? Will there come a day where I don’t find a new even from being fat? So, in the folds of skin (yes, imagine a Shar Pei puppy) I was sweating. So now I face the problem of how to soak this up or prevent it? I can’t ride the motorbike in a bikini because that would cause a lot of traffic issues and not the ones where men are looking at a gorgeous girl on a motorbike but instead, looking at the Michelin Lady in a bikini which will blind a lot of people. So, I have to wear long pants and underwear (yes, clean ones in case of an accident) and I don’t particularly want to wear a lady leak pad if I don’t have the lady leak issue. Wonder if talcum powder will help? What would that look like though if it spills or goes onto my front bottom area of my jeans?

I shall try some different methods and hopefully I come up with a way to prevent this happening again. If you have any ideas or answers, don’t hesitate to let me know J