The Secret to Feeling Thinner

I have discovered it! Yes, I know how to play this fat game. Are you ready? Buy clothes one size too big (yes, this could mean a visit to the tent section but stay with me here) and all of a sudden, you feel like you have lost five kilos! Amazing huh? I thought you would be impressed. To top it all off, people have been stopping me saying I have a ‘glow’ today.

Stop that starvation diet now, grab a snickers bar and go to Kmart for a huge pair of pants and a big floppy top and see how you feel like you have lost weight!

This topic brings me to another thing I have been wondering as of late…. How is it some fatties dress absolutely amazing like and you barely even notice there are fat stores on them and others, being me, can’t put anything together to make it look lovely? Lets talk about Maggie T. Now, I know she used to be a model and is always in the public eye and stuff but OMG, does she ever look like crap? I don’t think so. Isn’t she insanely comfortable like me in a pair of mens track pants, a big tshirt that doesn’t have any shape left except round and some nice snugly ugg boots? If she is then you wouldn’t know it. Even when I do attempt the layering look, I look like a rainbow cake and even then, nothing sits right.

Maggie T always looks polished and gorgeous. Every thing she wears looks crisp and clean (as it should I guess). Does she have a score of ladies in her walk in robe to dress her everyday? Today I have on a pair of camel colour pants and a white shirt. I look like a chocolate pudding with cream on top! I don’t look anything like Maggie T. I even had an accessory being a pastel coloured scarf going on and still, nothing. I just look like a pudding.

Thankfully I have incredibly gorgeous nails. They are mine and I grew them all myself.

My lunch break is almost over which is disappointing because I wanted to talk a little more about gas today. Not the gas that cooks dinner, the gas that comes out after you have eaten dinner. I seem to have an excess of it today and it is getting a bit embarrassing but i only have time to tell you that it sounded really funny earlier when I was in the toilet. I was squeezing as hard as I could because someone was in the cubicle next door but it snuck out and sounded like a squeaky trumpet! OMG it was so funny that I almost snorted trying now to hold my gas AND a laugh in.