My new game when I go out is to play either hide and seek or to become a secret sleuth. I am sure my fellow fatties will know this game and some may even play it too. Here is what the game is for you skinny lurkers who read my blog.
I went to a supermarket recently and it wasn’t my local one so I was a bit excited about what they might have at their supermarket. Now, because I was in unfamiliar territory, I had to keep my eye out for People of the Past. These are people I haven’t seen in some time and who may get the ‘deer in headlight’ eyes when they see my new curvaceous figure. So, I am wandering along with my little shopping basket when I see someone! OMG it is a Person of the Past, and there is no way I want to be seen so I quickly turn the other way and swiftly, but not too obviously, walk to the end of the aisle, swing a right and head two aisles away. I then look through the aisles, thankfully this one has see through shelves and I can just glimpse them. They are now in the next aisle.
This super sleuth needs to be done in such a discrete way so as to not alert the security guy that is sitting in his office watching his monitor wondering what the hell this strange woman (me) is doing. You also don’t want to alert other shoppers because they might call the said security guard and that would be a whole different blog.
I found myself burning up a hell of a lot calories trying to avoid Person of the Past but am buzzing about so quickly and frantically at once stage (in the fruit and veg section where there is no where to hide) that I almost knock over a display of mandarins! Note to Supermarket People, big towers of fruit are NOT ACCEPTABLE! Imagine if I had knocked the stupid display over? Person of the Past would have seen me instantly and that would have been disastrous.
So, now that I am amazing at avoiding People of the Past in supermarkets, I have to now ensure there is enough petrol in the car to take me to another supermarket because I get so flustered that I forget half of what I even went to the supermarket for!
I must confess - I play this game too, but in the Super Wal*Mart where it is much more hazardous. Try making your way through the bicycle section at high speed with an over-sized Wal*Mart cart and not bounce your head off every hanging bike for 50 feet of aisle! Not that I was shopping for a damn bike because that would mean I would actually have to ride it, but it's the shortest route between frozen desserts (aka ice cream) and the veggie section. It never fails that I see a PotP or worse by far... a former student! *gasp*
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