OMG! so, I was ready to start tomorrow (Monday) with watching what I eat and moving the cross trainer out from under the stairs when it hit me! I am not fat at all, I am happy!!
You know how lots of official research goes into relationships and how things change between a couple once they fall in love and settle into some sort of a routine? Well, women gaining weight is a sure sign of contentment. Why didn't I think of this before? It was around the time that I me boyfriend that I started to put on weight. The happier and more in love I was, the bigger I got. And I thought it was due to the good food and gallons of alcohol that blubbed me up but it is Love! and Happpiness!
Phew, lucky I realised this before I became a skinny.
So when I go and put on my Size Fat elasticised wasted jeans today I'll look at myself in admiration of the love and happiness that bought me to the size I am today.
PS: I am still going to take the cross trainer out from under the stairs today because I have to vacuum under there.
Sunday, 21 August 2011
Saturday, 20 August 2011
I am now a Size Fat!
I can't avoid it anymore. No longer can i squeeze into unrealistic sizes, I am now Size Fat. I have the option to shop in a normal store and chose the size at the back of the rack or shop in the fatty section and chose the size right in front. Argh! seriously, when did i become this size? I started this blog to stop the weight gain but it seems I have put on more weight to ensure the blog stays :)
The changes in me are getting quite uncomfortable and plain embarrassing which is a complete contradiction to the idiot, Sussane Eman, says. Dubbed 'supersized mum' says she feels better as she puts on weight and currently weighs 300 kilos. You are kidding me right? I have a couple of knees who have become strangers and I can tell you right now that i dont feel great about it. How can this parent be proud of the fact it takes 8 full hours to do her grocery shopping and fills six trollies. She needs a motorised scooter to get around. She has made me so angry that i just had to let you know about it (if you hadn't already seen it). I do wish the media didn't feel the need to run this story in every news paper, womans magazine and television news story. She does not need to be promoted because she is not a good role model for anyone let alone her two sons aged 12 and 16.
Right, back to my issue with my body. So, size fat to me is an australian size 18. Never in my wildest imaginations (and trust me, i have a huge imagination) did I think I would be buying this size. For a couple of years now I have been squeezing into smaller sizes and using a maternatiy belt to cover my stomach and unzipped zipper, because I refused to buy larger sizes. The reason I didn't buy larger sizes is because 'I wasn't going to be fat for too long" and silly me forgot to stop being fat. My bras became 'wonder bra's' - wonder when they shrank, wonder where they are, wonder what they are doing (because they are not holding these bazookas up anymore', wonder why I bother etc.
As I sit an write todays blog, I am incredibly distracted due to not having had breakfast or lunch today. Yes, I also wonder how on earth I am the size I am when I have skipped two meals. I had to eat potato chips a couple of hours ago because I was almost fainting from malnutrition. Thankfully I got to the chips in time and ate them with a super huge, sweet cappachino with yummy chocolate sprinkles on top. Had it not been for these two products, who knows what may have happened. So, my distraction now is diner. The steak is marrinating in honey, soy, plum and hoisin sauce and i am trying to decide on chippies or mashed potato to go with it. Little bits of dribble are occuring at the thought of yummy chippies with the steak. How about a couple of fried eggs and washing it down with a beer or two?
As of Monday I am going to be super good with my diet ok? So that means I can have the steak and chips tonight right? From here on in, my blogs are going to be all about the weight I have lost and how amazing I am looking and how people are always whistling at me when I walk down the street and my boyfriend is going to think I am hot hot hot in my motorbike leathers. Yes, this blog is going to be called "I woke up Skinny" in no time!
On a serious note, I beg and plead for you to NOT support this woman from Arizona because she is attempting to add another 45 kilos to her already massive weight and this is not healthy.
The changes in me are getting quite uncomfortable and plain embarrassing which is a complete contradiction to the idiot, Sussane Eman, says. Dubbed 'supersized mum' says she feels better as she puts on weight and currently weighs 300 kilos. You are kidding me right? I have a couple of knees who have become strangers and I can tell you right now that i dont feel great about it. How can this parent be proud of the fact it takes 8 full hours to do her grocery shopping and fills six trollies. She needs a motorised scooter to get around. She has made me so angry that i just had to let you know about it (if you hadn't already seen it). I do wish the media didn't feel the need to run this story in every news paper, womans magazine and television news story. She does not need to be promoted because she is not a good role model for anyone let alone her two sons aged 12 and 16.
Right, back to my issue with my body. So, size fat to me is an australian size 18. Never in my wildest imaginations (and trust me, i have a huge imagination) did I think I would be buying this size. For a couple of years now I have been squeezing into smaller sizes and using a maternatiy belt to cover my stomach and unzipped zipper, because I refused to buy larger sizes. The reason I didn't buy larger sizes is because 'I wasn't going to be fat for too long" and silly me forgot to stop being fat. My bras became 'wonder bra's' - wonder when they shrank, wonder where they are, wonder what they are doing (because they are not holding these bazookas up anymore', wonder why I bother etc.
As I sit an write todays blog, I am incredibly distracted due to not having had breakfast or lunch today. Yes, I also wonder how on earth I am the size I am when I have skipped two meals. I had to eat potato chips a couple of hours ago because I was almost fainting from malnutrition. Thankfully I got to the chips in time and ate them with a super huge, sweet cappachino with yummy chocolate sprinkles on top. Had it not been for these two products, who knows what may have happened. So, my distraction now is diner. The steak is marrinating in honey, soy, plum and hoisin sauce and i am trying to decide on chippies or mashed potato to go with it. Little bits of dribble are occuring at the thought of yummy chippies with the steak. How about a couple of fried eggs and washing it down with a beer or two?
As of Monday I am going to be super good with my diet ok? So that means I can have the steak and chips tonight right? From here on in, my blogs are going to be all about the weight I have lost and how amazing I am looking and how people are always whistling at me when I walk down the street and my boyfriend is going to think I am hot hot hot in my motorbike leathers. Yes, this blog is going to be called "I woke up Skinny" in no time!
On a serious note, I beg and plead for you to NOT support this woman from Arizona because she is attempting to add another 45 kilos to her already massive weight and this is not healthy.
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
Clap Your Batwings Ladies!
A big shout out to my new best friend (only she doesn't know it yet), Julie Goodwin! According to my sources, online news, she turned down a lucritive deal with Jenny Craig because she is happy with herself! I couldn't clap my hands and bat wings fast enough. Good. On. Her.
The online newspaper told me that some famous people get paid amazing amounts of dollars to be with Jenny Craig and lose weight. Now, I ask my faithful readers, why do the famous people get paid squillions of dollars to join Jenny Craig when they can actually afford it yet the suburban blubber guts like myself would have to Pay the squillion dollars to join.
To top off my annoyance with Jenny Craig, she can't/wont do gluten free food so she is off my favourite person list.
Back to my mate Julie Goodwin. No, I haven't actually met her in real life and to be honest,. was neither here nor there about her until now. I wonder how Jenny Craigs marketing team approached her. It isn't as though our friend Julie is a huge blubber guts. She has a roll or two here and there but geez, she is certainly not needing a crane to get in and out of the house. How does one approach this?
"Hey Julie, wanna lose ya rolls and get paid for it?"
"Dear Mrs Goodwin, I noticed you were a bit too fat, wanna be skinny?"
"Attention Julie Goodwin. We hear that you are an amazing cook, have your own cookbook and TV show. Good for you. We want you to stop all of that and now eat some food that we cooked for you. Please give up your current dream of being a cook and author and eat our food instead'.
I really hope she gave them a mouthful and told them to bugger off and dont be so bloody rude mate! Well I dont think she would have been that rude becauase she 'seems' so lovely and not at all fat!
Seriously. I think this company is incredibly rude by approaching someone to join them when they could actually have me as their spokes person for NOTHING!
So again, a big congratulations to Julie Goodwin for standing proud as a curvy woman.
The online newspaper told me that some famous people get paid amazing amounts of dollars to be with Jenny Craig and lose weight. Now, I ask my faithful readers, why do the famous people get paid squillions of dollars to join Jenny Craig when they can actually afford it yet the suburban blubber guts like myself would have to Pay the squillion dollars to join.
To top off my annoyance with Jenny Craig, she can't/wont do gluten free food so she is off my favourite person list.
Back to my mate Julie Goodwin. No, I haven't actually met her in real life and to be honest,. was neither here nor there about her until now. I wonder how Jenny Craigs marketing team approached her. It isn't as though our friend Julie is a huge blubber guts. She has a roll or two here and there but geez, she is certainly not needing a crane to get in and out of the house. How does one approach this?
"Hey Julie, wanna lose ya rolls and get paid for it?"
"Dear Mrs Goodwin, I noticed you were a bit too fat, wanna be skinny?"
"Attention Julie Goodwin. We hear that you are an amazing cook, have your own cookbook and TV show. Good for you. We want you to stop all of that and now eat some food that we cooked for you. Please give up your current dream of being a cook and author and eat our food instead'.
I really hope she gave them a mouthful and told them to bugger off and dont be so bloody rude mate! Well I dont think she would have been that rude becauase she 'seems' so lovely and not at all fat!
Seriously. I think this company is incredibly rude by approaching someone to join them when they could actually have me as their spokes person for NOTHING!
So again, a big congratulations to Julie Goodwin for standing proud as a curvy woman.
Friday, 12 August 2011
I Can't Close My Legs!
Ok, this one is a little embarrasing and I have only just started to notice that I can not comfortably close my legs anymore! I have never seen this on anyone else before but surely I am not the only person with this problem!? I noticed it one day at work when I thought I had a heat pack on my stomach resting on my legs because I could feel a weighted object at the top of my legs. It wasn't a hot pack IT WAS MY STOMACH!! My stomach was resting on my legs. So, I picked my stomach up and tried to shut my legs but there was something in the way. I squeezed and squeezed until it looked like I was trying to do a poop at my desk and I finally got them got them together. When I relaxed my legs, they flew apart again. I realised there is just too much 'stuff' on the inside on my legs now (ok it isn't stuff, its fat but lets pretend it is stuff).
I have realised I can't go around lifting my stomach everytime I sit down and try to keep my legs together because of the facial contorition, but am at a loss as to what to do. I could wear big flowing skirts that fall over my ankles because no one will know that my knees dont know each other anymore. I could remain standing at every event I go to but I might look a little strange at the next work dinner standing at the table eating whilst everyone is seated.
Unfortunately I am unable to think of the best solution on an empty stomach so I will go and find a platter of food to feast on whilst I think of the most suitable way to tackle this issue........ Stay tuned!
I have realised I can't go around lifting my stomach everytime I sit down and try to keep my legs together because of the facial contorition, but am at a loss as to what to do. I could wear big flowing skirts that fall over my ankles because no one will know that my knees dont know each other anymore. I could remain standing at every event I go to but I might look a little strange at the next work dinner standing at the table eating whilst everyone is seated.
Unfortunately I am unable to think of the best solution on an empty stomach so I will go and find a platter of food to feast on whilst I think of the most suitable way to tackle this issue........ Stay tuned!
Wednesday, 10 August 2011
The Bean Bag Look
Today we will use the visualisation technique to understand what I am talking about.
Now I have my motorbike learners permit I have ordered a gorgeous bike for me to ride. Pick up day is only two more sleeps away but my dilema is now the image I am going to create unintentionally. And it is that of an old beanbag.
I have bought a gorgeous, brand new, very shiny, white motorbike and went shopping last night for some sexy leather riding gear.
I realised then, this is going to be a little difficult because I could spend hundreds of dollars here and will end up looking like an old 1970's leather bean bag that has been stored in the shed. You know what I am talking about dont you? The old bean bag that has cracks through it, beans are spilling out in some sections and doens't even look comfortable anymore. Well, this is what I think I am going to look like in all my leather glory. A old, wrinkly beanbag thrown onto the seat of a motorbike with a head. How am I going to pull off all this leather without looking like I should be riding a Harley Davidson with a group of men? Even if I put pretty pink lipstick on, no one is going to see it because of the helmet. Why can't I look like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Rader instead of Miss Piggie in a leotard!!??
To ponder this concern of mine, I loaded up with a few lolly snakes, a small block of chocolate and because I am on a diet, a big glass of water. As you can see, I am trying very hard to be able to fit into a small sexy leather jacket by drinking water instead of a nice cold fizzy coca cola! Looking at me, it is hard to tell at the moment that I am losing weight but when you see me with my glass of water, it is pretty obvious.
I am missing three kilos but I can't quite pin point where they went from because it all is looking the same to me but the scales dont lie. Still haven't moved that darn cross trainer out from under the stairs for vaious reasons discussed in earlier posts but have thought about it ok? Apparently, the first step is the hardest and I am making sure I understand this sentance before i go crazy and start things that should be thought about first. I will continue to think about this first step for another couple of days and just enjoy my size 18 motorbike jacket. There was a bigger size so I do feel good I didn't have to buy that one. As long as I dont eat or drink anything before putting the jacket on, it fits just fine.
Now I have my motorbike learners permit I have ordered a gorgeous bike for me to ride. Pick up day is only two more sleeps away but my dilema is now the image I am going to create unintentionally. And it is that of an old beanbag.
I have bought a gorgeous, brand new, very shiny, white motorbike and went shopping last night for some sexy leather riding gear.
I realised then, this is going to be a little difficult because I could spend hundreds of dollars here and will end up looking like an old 1970's leather bean bag that has been stored in the shed. You know what I am talking about dont you? The old bean bag that has cracks through it, beans are spilling out in some sections and doens't even look comfortable anymore. Well, this is what I think I am going to look like in all my leather glory. A old, wrinkly beanbag thrown onto the seat of a motorbike with a head. How am I going to pull off all this leather without looking like I should be riding a Harley Davidson with a group of men? Even if I put pretty pink lipstick on, no one is going to see it because of the helmet. Why can't I look like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Rader instead of Miss Piggie in a leotard!!??
To ponder this concern of mine, I loaded up with a few lolly snakes, a small block of chocolate and because I am on a diet, a big glass of water. As you can see, I am trying very hard to be able to fit into a small sexy leather jacket by drinking water instead of a nice cold fizzy coca cola! Looking at me, it is hard to tell at the moment that I am losing weight but when you see me with my glass of water, it is pretty obvious.
I am missing three kilos but I can't quite pin point where they went from because it all is looking the same to me but the scales dont lie. Still haven't moved that darn cross trainer out from under the stairs for vaious reasons discussed in earlier posts but have thought about it ok? Apparently, the first step is the hardest and I am making sure I understand this sentance before i go crazy and start things that should be thought about first. I will continue to think about this first step for another couple of days and just enjoy my size 18 motorbike jacket. There was a bigger size so I do feel good I didn't have to buy that one. As long as I dont eat or drink anything before putting the jacket on, it fits just fine.
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